Here are some vital projects to fund with sales tax hikes

Tulsans’ monthly water bill is going up 7 percent every year. This year the sewer rate is rising 9 percent. Gasoline prices are rising. Eggs cost more than $3 a dozen and hamburger is over $3 a pound.

And the mayor and city council want to raise sales tax to siphon more than $300,000,000.00 a year out of the private sector.

In a public relations move, councilors are holding public meetings for “input.” Here are some of the suggestions arising from those meetings:

Another sports complex downtown

A canal on Sixth Street downtown

A museum in the abandoned Tulsa Club downtown

An ape exhibit

A bus just for Peoria Avenue

Copies of the Golden Driller all over town

Statues of Woody Guthrie

How has Tulsa been able to survive without these critical projects?

I have not attended the public meetings but I would like to make my own suggestions on how to spend $300,000,000.00 in new taxes every year.

Convert Bartlett Square downtown back into a sidewalk from a street. Bartlett Square was a street, then a sidewalk and now a street. It’s time to make it a sidewalk again.

Build another basketball arena downtown next to the other basketball arena to try to attract another WNBA team that will draw 300 fans per game.

Raise the councilor salaries to $100,000.00 a year. That way they could pay their own way on chamber junkets.

Construct a Pot Hole Museum downtown to be run by the Historical Society. Then subsidize a front-end repair/tire shop to be built next door.

Convert the Civic Center into a downtown full-service grocery.

Subsidize construction of a Joe’s Crab Shack or Red Lobster next to the Oklahoma Aquarium.

Change the BOK Center downtown into a giant casino with an adjoining parking garage.

Build a second parking garage downtown for the Pop Museum in anticipation of the huge crowds it will draw.

Subsidize a passenger train from downtown to Oakhurst, with a parking garage in Oakhurst.

Build a series of three islands in the middle of the Arkansas River with restaurants, apartments and underground parking garages.

Fund a statue for the atheists and/or satanists at the Tulsa Zoo.

Divert the Arkansas River onto Peoria Avenue.

Put a second story on the Performing Arts Center downtown and add a parking garage.

Add 10 floors to City Hall plus an adjoining parking garage.

Buy a private jet for the mayor with an adjoining hangar.

Stock up on a 50-year supply of chloramine to use on tap water.

Build a low-water dam on Lake Yahola and add water sports.

Remodel the city council room to add seats for the board of the chamber of commerce at the head of the table.

Purchase the Batfish submarine from Muskogee and offer rides up river from the low-water dam.

Open a tribal museum and name it after former Mayor Susan Savage.

Buy 100,000 new 100-gallon trashcans so the elderly can put more garbage in at one time.

De-annex South Tulsa and concentrate on downtown. Build a low-water dam to separate South Tulsa from Midtown.

Convert Route 66 to a toll road and do the same to the Broken Arrow Expressway and the Crosstown.

Convert water meters to smart meters and force homeowners to pay a one-time fee of $185 and $28 a month forever to refuse a smart meter.

Buy Fair Meadows and turn it into a casino. Level the old Driller Stadium and add a parking garage.

Put all the police on horseback. Add a parking stable downtown.

Open a police museum.

Book Garth Brooks in the BOK Center downtown every Saturday night.

Pay for an outlet mall on top of Turkey Mountain. Insist that some shop sell actual turkeys.

Build an earthquake shelter in every public school, probably by adding a basement.

Pay for a Warren Buffett museum downtown with an adjoining parking garage.

Subsidize a low-water dam at Big Splash Water Park.

Construct a parking garage museum downtown.

Some of my suggestions shouldn’t be taken seriously.

OK, all of my suggestions should be rejected. But as the chamber loves to point out in their slick TV commercials promoting tax increases, these wonderful suggestions would only cost “pennies a day” to the average Tulsan.

And after all, isn’t it a lot of fun to spend someone else’s money?