I used to think I was just a regular guy, but, I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which today makes me a fascist.
I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, makes me a homophobe. I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class.
I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel. I believe in the Second Amendment, which puts me in the vast gun lobby. I am older than 60, which makes me a useless old man.
I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the mainstream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary. I am proud of my heritage and American culture, so I’m a xenophobe. I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
I believe in hard work, fair play and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist. I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant. Now, a sick old woman is calling me and my friends a basket of deplorables.