If Bernie Sanders is giving away free stuff, here’s what I want

Sen. Bernie Sanders is a socialist and polls show that 25 percent of the Democrats want him to be president. He believes that rich people should no longer be rich but should be taxed heavily and the money given to poor people.

His message is very popular – among poor people.

Sanders wants to give free college tuition to everyone. He wants a $15 hourly minimum wage. He wants free medical insurance for everyone. Sanders thinks Wall Street is the biggest threat to America. He thinks global warming is such a threat that we need to stop using coal, oil and natural gas for energy and replace it with wind and solar power. He wants to expand Social Security retirement payments. He wants to forgive all student debts. He wants to take away everyone’s guns.

How do you pay for all of this? Sanders said the money will come from higher taxes from rich people.

This is called buying votes by promising more gifts than Santa Claus at Christmas.

Well, if the government is going to provide everything for free and I won’t have to pay higher taxes because I am not a millionaire, I have a wish list I would like Sanders to consider.

Free ocean cruises for anyone over 63 (which I will be when he takes office)

This could be a four-day cruise to the Bahamas instead of a two-week Alaskan cruise or one of those river cruises in Europe. If the cruise goes past Libya, a U.S. Naval destroyer needs to go along.

Minimum six months paid vacation

Two weeks is just not enough. They get a lot more in Europe (especially Greece). This is more of something Obama (also a  Socialist) should promise. This is about how much vacation he gets each year.

Free sex change operations for previous Olympic gold medals holders

Not everyone is as rich as Bruce Jenner and can afford hormone treatments, breast implants and reassignment surgery. This should be paid for prisoners, too.

Free Pike Passes in Oklahoma

Sanders could withhold federal highway funds if Oklahoma doesn’t make the turnpikes free.

Free admission to Disney World (maybe Sea World, too)

Free match play in all federally funded casinos

This could be a form of reparations and part of the punishment for the ongoing crimes of Christopher Columbus.

Free private e-mail servers for all federal employees

This would make it harder for the federal government to monitor e-mails (but maybe easier for Russia, China and Iran).

A free bus ticket to Cuba for Movie Director Michael Moore

If you are looking for a socialist utopia, it’s Cuba.

Free medical care, dental care and legal representation for federal prisoners

Oh, wait, they already have that.

French military training for our armed forces

Let’s not go to war unless ISIS shows up in Cape Cod.

Free Nazi uniforms for Planned Parenthood “doctors”

Murdering another 58,000,000 unborn babies will create a lot more job opportunities for illegal aliens (oops, undocumented migrants).

Free air conditioners in Alaska when global warming strikes

This would include Coast Guard stations in Atlanta, Dallas and Salt Lake City when the oceans rise and California falls off into the sea.

Free military equipment for any Arab group in the Middle East

The billions of dollars of used military equipment we left for ISIS might already need some maintenance work.

– Free flu shots and vaccinations

Wait, we already have that.

Free copies of books by Karl Marx and Woody Guthrie

This could be electronic if we provide free Wi-Fi for the entire country.

Free season football passes for students at TU, OU and OSU

Football needs a new name because the rest of the world calls soccer football and we can’t be out of step.

How about free bus fare and free Amtrak rides?

This could help us get rid of all those evil automobiles and make us more like Europe.

I could sure use free groceries. Don’t you think that three square meals a day should be a right for every American, whether he works or not?

Free citizenship

The immigration laws are much too harsh and too restrictive. Anybody in the world should be able to come here and take a job away from an American. This would save so much money because we wouldn’t need a fence on our southern border and we could eliminate the Border Patrol.

I am so glad a Democrat who is a socialist is running and he freely admits his communist leanings. If Sanders wins, I can quit my job and get the government to pay for everything.