The City Council tells ‘the story of a street named Brady…’
After weeks and weeks of hard work by Tulsa city councilors, they came up with a solution about the name of Brady Street.
Liberals were up in arms when they found out that Brady Street was named after Wyatt Tate Brady, a city founder who was a member of the Ku Klux Klan.
(For those of you in the Millennial Generation, the Klan was a once powerful secret society that persecuted blacks and Jews).
To erase this sad testament to Tulsa’s sullied history, the councilors renamed Brady Street Brady Street.
That’s right. Instead of Wyatt Tate Brady Street, it is now Matthew Brady Street. Matthew Brady was a photographer known for his depiction of Civil War battle scenes.
Whew. That’s a relief.
But while we are at it, maybe there are some other street names that are offensive and should be renamed.
For instance, Atlanta (Avenue) is the capital of Georgia and a hotbed of slavery before the Civil War. Throw Birmingham (Avenue) out, too, because Alabama was on the wrong side of the Civil War.
Archer Street sounds a bit too militaristic. Do we want our children shooting arrows on Archer? I don’t think so.
King Street needs a new name. So does Queen Street. They sound too regal. We don’t live under a monarchy anymore and by golly, we shouldn’t have to bow to a street sign.
We have a bunch of streets named for Indian tribes (Allegheny, Apache, Cheyenne, Cincinnati, Delaware, Mingo, Mohawk, Oswego, Owasso, Quanah, Seminole, Tecumseh, Ute and Utica). Those are fine because of Oklahoma’s tribal heritages but where are the streets named for the Cherokees, Creeks, Choctaws and Chickasaws?
It seems a bit uncivilized to not have streets named for four of Five Civilized Tribes.
We have streets named for other cities, including Boston, Aspen, Boulder, Denver, Detroit, Elgin, Erie, Evanston, Fairview, Galveston, ,Guthrie, Haskell, Independence, Houston, Jamestown, Joplin, Knoxville, New Haven, Olympia, Owasso, Phoenix, Pittsburg (spelled wrong), Quebec (international), Richmond, Santa Fe, St. Louis, Tacoma, Toledo, Trenton, Urbana, Utica, Vancouver, Waco and Wheeling.
I think we should not name a street after a city unless that city has a street named Tulsa. If you notice, part of the street names in Southeast Tulsa are named for cities east of the Mississippi River and those in Southwest Tulsa are west of the Mississippi.
Peoria Avenue should be renamed “Restless Ribbon” and Memorial Drive should be “The Strip.”
And what’s up with Cherry Street? It’s 15th Street – not Cherry Street. Can a neighborhood just decide they don’t like the name of their major thoroughfare and call it something else without an in-depth study by city bureaucrats?
When you get east of Sheridan Road in South Tulsa, the street names turn into numbers because city fathers were too lazy to come up with new street names.
If you live in a neighborhood near 71st Street and Sheridan road, you could live at the corner of 68th Street and South 68th East Avenue. If you don’t think that is confusing, turn off your computer and try to find an address.
It’s funny because the city started putting numbers on north-south streets east of Sheridan but they still used names for Memorial Drive, Mingo Road and Garnett Road before they switched back to 129th, 145th, 161st, 177th and 193rd streets.
Again, too lazy to come up names of cities east of the Mississippi.
If you go north of Admiral Boulevard, there is an alphabetical order of streets running east and west. That ends at 36th Street North where once again, city officials ran out of name ideas and switched to numbers.
Your shouldn’t be able to name a street after your brother-in-law which was probably the case with Gary Avenue. (It was actually named after Gary, Indiana, which was probably named after someone’s brother-in-law). If that was a good idea, we should have Fred Place and LaVerne Boulevard. Throw Lynn Lane in that category.
And if you really want to do some investigation, how did we come to name a street Virgin Avenue? That should take a couple of months for the councilors to study.
I think we have streets named Yale and Harvard so eventually someone could open a storefront “business school” and call it “Harvard Business College.” I would be willing to buy a degree from there if it wasn’t more than $100 and looked good in a frame.
There’s a joke about a guy who witnesses an accident on a side street named Czechoslovakia Avenue. He desperately calls 911 to get an ambulance for an injured drive.
“What is the name of the street you are on?” 911 asks.
“Czechoslovakia,” the man said.
“How do you spell that?” 911 asks.
“Listen, how about if I drag him over to Elm Street instead?” the man replies.
Wasting time on renaming streets when almost every other problem is more important seems to be a hallmark of this Council. Maybe next they can vote in the watermelon as the official city “vegetable.”
• Again, a thousand pardons as I impact some puns – the lowest form of comedy (but still pretty funny).
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Velcro – what a rip off!
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn’t reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high.
There were three horses on a ship including a sick bay.
A dog breeder crossed a setter and a pointer at Christmas time and got a pointsetter.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, “Is the bar tender here?”
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
When a vulture flies, he takes carrion luggage.
A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.