My daughter told me not to buy any more toys for my 18-month-old granddaughter for Christmas.

Right.

I have only been a grandparent for 18 months and that is not a whole lot of time to spoil a granddaughter. And now, I have twice as much spoiling to do thanks to the birth of my grandson in October.

We will buy both of those little guys some clothes – they live in South Dakota where the winters are brutal – and some toys. They always need clothes because they are growing. They need toys because they are kids.

(My granddaughter really like books, so my challenge is to expand her personal library of children’s books.)

Gift giving has changed dramatically in the last two or three years.

Ten years ago, we would buy toys at Toys-R-Us. It was a madhouse between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now, the store at 71st Street and Memorial Drive is vacant.

It was fun to go in there and shop because you could count on seeing a bossy brat ordering around Mom and Dad and demanding this toy and that toy and some big candy bar at checkout. I wanted to tell those parents to get a grip and remind that brat of who was really supposed to be in charge.

Anyway, I am old enough to remember buying Christmas gifts at T.G.&Y., OTASCO (Oklahoma Tire and Supply) and Looboyles. I shopped at Southland (now the Tulsa Promenade) and Jubilee City (remember that store on Admiral Boulevard between Sheridan Road and Memorial Drive?)

I bought stuff at Sears at 21st Street and Yale Avenue (gone), David’s at 27th Street and Memorial Drive and 21st Street and Sheridan Road (both gone). We even shopped at Mervyn’s (which apparently was the forerunner of Kohls).

In the good old days, kids would hint around at what they would like for Christmas. I always asked for a lot of suggestions because I wanted to surprise them when they opened their presents from under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning.

In 2019, we all have “wish lists” on Amazon.com.

This is good and bad.

It’s good because the recipient has input in the gift selection, so there is less of a chance of buying an ugly sweater or snowshoes that are the wrong size.

And it’s good that Amazon ships right to your door. You can do all your shopping on your computer. (This is why so many merchants are going out of business and why sales taxes are slowing down despite big purchases).

Here’s the downside. If you look at your wish list on Amazon, you can tell if someone has purchased your selection. Actually, a little note pops that says, “Someone MAY have purchased this for you already.”

This should prevent two people from buying you the same ugly sweater, though.

But if you put a bowling ball on your list, when UPS delivers that package from Amazon, and it weighs a ton, you know you are getting your bowling ball for Christmas. That takes some of the fun out of giving/getting.

Here’s another problem with Christmas gifts.

Businesses are pushing “gift cards.” This is nice because if it is for a store, the recipient can choose his or her own gift. And they can add to it to get something a little nicer.

Up to 20 percent of gift cards never get used. One estimate said that gift card “breakage” (cards that are lost, forgotten and never redeemed) amounts to more than $1 billion a year. When I get a gift card, it “burns a hole in my pocket.”

I cash it in as soon as possible.

But here’s a problem. What if someone gives you a $25 gift card from Walmart. And you decide to give them a $25 gift card from Walmart. Wouldn’t it be better to just give them 25 dollars? That way they could spend it wherever they wished. And if two people are exchanging gift cards of the same amount for the same store, why not make it a $500 gift card? That would be really impressive and not cost a penny more (unless you lost it or didn’t redeem it).

I don’t want to leave an impression that I am not grateful when someone gives me a gift, regardless of what it is. My family has given me some spectacular birthday/Christmas gifts over the year. They really have.

When I was growing up, my Aunt Jean would send me a birthday card with a $5 bill in it every year. I loved her for doing that.

It is better to give than to receive. But when you are only 18 months or two months old, you need to give some really nifty toys for Christmas. As a grandpa, that’s part of my mission.

Jokes

• A pastor and a taxi driver arrive at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter welcomes them and shows them to their homes.

For the taxi driver, a beautiful villa looking over a gorgeous field of clouds. “Thank you,” the overjoyed taxi driver said.

Expecting an even bigger mansion, the pastor was dismayed when they arrived at a small 1-bedroom apartment.

“St. Peter, I’m a little puzzled,” the pastor said. “As a clergyman, I devoted decades of my life solely to serving the Lord. How come the taxi driver got a villa, and for me, only a small apartment?”

St. Peter smiled. “Up here, we go by results. While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed.”

• A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says, “This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before.” So the lion starts rushing towards the dog. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he’s about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly, “Mmm…that was some good lion meat!”

The lion stops and says “ Whoa! This guy seems tougher than he looks, I better leave while I can.”

A monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion. So the monkey tells the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily, “Get on my back, we’ll get him together”.

The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic. He then gets another idea and shouts, “Where is that monkey? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago…”

•  A man finds an ancient oil lamp and out comes an all-powerful genie.

Genie: “You have 3 wishes.”

Man: “I don’t know, I’ve seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.”

Genie: “I promise that won’t happen. I’m so sure it won’t I’ll give you infinite wishes if it does!”

Man: “Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.”