[Looking at history and our area’s unique political and religious attitudes.]

Before you ask a substantial question, be sure you are willing to live by the answer. When Mom was seventy, we asked her, “What have you long wanted to do, if there were no constraints?” In less than half-second she replied, “Go on an Alaskan cruise to see bears, Inuit (Eskimo at that time), sled dogs, and snow.” She had lived in Louisiana.

A little background sets the stage. Both authors were raised in the genteel, old Victorian South, where girls, ladies, and especially Mom were deferred to. Yes ma’am and no ma’am were the course of language. What mama wants, mama gets was not a figure of speech, but pretty much a reflection of reality. I am sure that other cultures with a strong matriarchy are little different.

Mom was sixteen years younger than Dad, who had passed long before her seventieth year. She did not work outside the home until we were all gone from the house. Then she became an aide, and surrogate mother, for the developmentally challenged kids at the local school. It was a role she really enjoyed. She had retired because of age by the time Dad crossed to the other side. He was a construction worker who left little long term support for her.

Consistent with the culture, she did not drive. Oh, Dad tried to teach her and I tried years before. Then in later time, my patient co-author tried. Like everything else, Mom was full on or full off. She did not grasp the concept of accelerator and brake have a range of values. It was on the floor for both. After she took the mirror off her car, going through the gate at full bore, my tolerant co-author politely said that is it, no more.

We sold the car and moved her to near my younger sister, who had the unenviable chore of checking and arranging for her. Yes, chauffeur-ship was part of the task. Mom never knew much about the money, since there was not much to be concerned. My co-author willingly agreed we would take care of what was needed. My sister helped where she could and our two sons were great help. But Mom never knew. That is what families do.

So for her seventieth birthday, she was all in for Alaska. At the time I was traveling extensively for work. In those days, literally before internet, I had a travel agent, Mary Ann, who took care of things. So on the first cruises of May, we were on a new Carnival cruise ship.

We flew into Anchorage, the land of the midnight sun. At 2:00 AM, there was still dusky light. Mom always was early to bed by 8:00 PM, but this twist of time made her want to stay up, and she did.

I was working in Alaska when I married my bride, twenty-eight years earlier. So, I was back home reveling in the changes. I love wild-caught salmon, even if it has been frozen. But there is none like King Salmon properly prepared in Alaska. In fact, that was the name of the offshore oil platform under construction, where I broke-out as a newly graduated engineer. Oh, that was an experience: two months out of college, no phone, no internet, no satellite, no communications but ship-to-shore radio that every boat and platform in the Inlet could hear. If it had not been for a superb contractor superintendent who watched out for me and his job, I am not sure my career would have survived. My boss in Dallas had confidence enough to let me sink or swim. I think maybe I appreciate it now.

The ship-to-shore radio was interesting when my future bride called me to wish a happy birthday. I am not sure she realized she had a larger audience than some television stations. I guess it worked, we are still together.

With that backdrop, we gave Mom everything she had dreamed and more. She got to ride a dog sled. That was wild. Bear and other wildlife were plentiful. We visited Inuit villages. We rode the Alaskan Railway for a delightful passage.

Then we met the cruise ship. Mary Ann had arranged a balcony suite, which greatly increased our space and allowed fabulous views of the glaciers. Like most cruises, food was great, evening entertainment was superb, and the stops at local ports of call provided opportunities such as trips upriver to see otters, totem poles, innumerable eagles, and old gold mines. Mom stayed up well past her appointed bedtime, every night. She would not go with us, but we enjoyed superb entertainment each evening, often semi-formal.

It was the trip of a lifetime for Mom. After she departed this life, we were going through things. She had a separate selection of her Alaskan memorabilia.

Think about it. What does Mom want? Give it to her, if you can. Her memories and yours will be melded. Thanks for everything, Mom.