[Looking at history and our area’s unique political and religious attitudes.]

Fear of success sounds like an oxymoron. This week I encountered two seemingly contrasting situations, but both brought recall to the title statement.

The first was the high school graduation of a grandson. This event is highly anticipated all year for the protoadults. This is a rite of passage forced by society. The youth are imposed in one transition to be adults and take responsibility for their actions.

Parents do not disappear just yet, but are relegated to encouragement and financial wizardry to the residents of their home, who are now occasional visitors. Stress is as great on the parents as their approaching peers.

Three negative emotions impact all people: anger, fear, and depression. The emotions are heightened at transitions. For both parents and offspring, this is one of the major transitions, ranking about number five in life events. So, not surprisingly, all the emotions burst out at some time.

At the high school graduation, excitement was the word. Most of the teenagers had decided where they would continue their university studies for a career. Some were going into the trades, which involves apprenticeship, that is little different. A few, like our grandson, had picked up trade skills, and were now going to university to enhance that propensity. He is a quite accomplished welder and mechanic, who is going to study mechanical engineering. A perfect fit to come back to the family business, if he wants.

All these had apprehensions about what lies ahead. But the goal of getting the diploma of transition has them motivated to push forward into a path unknown.

J.R.R. Tolkien in Fellowship of the Ring describes the situation succinctly as the Company on the Quest had met the Lady Galadriel in the paradise of Lothlorien. She presented to their mind’s eye “a choice between a shadow full of fear that lay ahead, and something that he greatly desired.”

So why do some challenge the fear and forge on the quest, while others turn away, never to achieve their dream?

The second encounter involved a skilled young tradesman, with years of experience. He has not taken his journeyman test to move up in income. This stirs memories of my students who were approaching university graduation. I strongly urged them to take their professional exam for licensure. Some procrastinated and did not accomplish it while in school, when the information was fresh in mind.

I have talked with many students later. I have heard thank you for pushing me. I have heard I wished I had listened when you encouraged us. Never once have I heard one that was glad they waited.

Why do we procrastinate? “I do not have time,” is a common phrase. Oh? You are so special that you need a creation decree with more hours. As far as I know, we all have the same 24-hours. It is what we do with it that makes the difference.

“What if I don’t pass?” is another. My grandpa retorted, you won’t know until you try. Ouch. If it is a common exam, like a government license, it is designed to be passed by those prepared. Others have done it. Others will do it.

You can do it. Find out about what is on the exam and study just that. Find a preparation class to show the way. If you slip up and do not pass the first time, rethink your preparation process and repeat. You can get there.

“I know I can. I know how better than others. But . . .” Often the reason folks do not advance is fear of success.

This is very different from the fear of failure above. In essence, it is a reflection of I am very comfortable now. If successful, change will be expected. Yes, they may receive more income or greater recognition, but they would rather stay in the background in a supportive role. This is society’s loss, since these people have much to offer.