What are the rules for tipping?

When I grew up in Tulsa, you hardly ever tipped. When I was a kid, I thought that paying for a meal should be enough.

When I grew up, I found out that waiters and waitresses don’t make that much in hourly pay and they depend on tips to make a living.

It used to be a standard that you tip 15 percent for a meal if you got good service. Now, I try to tip at least 20 percent for a meal unless the waiter or waitress is just terrible.

One of the reasons I do this is because my daughter was a waitress at IHOP while she was in college. She told me stories of she would work very hard to serve someone and they would not leave a tip or they left a buck or two.

The worst example is when a large party runs up a big bill and only tips 5 percent or less. Some restaurants charge a standard tip – at least 15 percent – on parties over a certain number.

People who go to church on Sunday morning have a terrible reputation for low tips or no tips. I hope for most people this reputation is undeserved. But ask any waiter and they will tell you that churchgoers don’t tip very well for lunch on Sunday.

We hardly ever go out to lunch after church. One reason is that I think that people should rest one day a week. It doesn’t have to be Sunday but more people would eat at home on Sundays, maybe restaurant workers would get more time off. This is just a personal opinion.

When we do go out after church, I tip at least 20 percent. I think it is a terrible testimony to have someone serve you on Sunday and then get cheap with a tip.

It’s hard to know when to tip sometimes. Some people think you should tip when you pick up an order to go at a sit-down restaurant. This is where I don’t usually leave a tip.

It’s hard to know how much of a tip to leave at a restaurant like Golden Corral. You walk in, pay for your meal, grab a plate and find a seat. There are servers who refill your drinks and take away used dishes. I usually leave a tip at restaurants like this because the workers do work hard and deserve some credit.

When you take a cruise, some cruise lines recommend that you prepay tips for your wait staff and housekeeping. We always do this because it helps us budget and it takes away a lot of decisions. The staff of every cruise we have been on has been outstanding. The recommended tips are a lot, but the price of passage is so reasonable that we don’t mind paying. I might think otherwise if we prepaid the tips and got lousy service.

There’s a website, realsimple.com, that has recommendations for tips.

• $5-$10 per person for appliance or furniture delivery (more if you have a tricky stairwell).
• $1 a drink for a bartender. (I don’t drink so this is not a non-starter for me.)
• $2-$5 for a car washer, depending on the size of the car.
• $1 per item for coat checker.
• 15-20 percent for a dog groomer.
• $2-$4 for food delivery.
• $4-$20 for a tow-truck driver (if the cost is “insane,” you can skip the tip).
• $3-$5 for a hair shampooer.
• $15 percent for a hair stylist.
• $2-$5 percent for dry cleaning.
• 10-20 percent for a manicurist or pedicurist.
• 15-20 percent for a waiter/waitress.
• $2-$5 for valet parking (more if you want your car back in one piece).
• $1-$3 a bag for a skycap or porter. (I always carry my own bags).
• $1-$2 per bag delivered to your room by a bellhop.
• $5-$50 for a hotel concierge (more if you get other stuff, like theater tickets).
• $2 a night for housekeeping at a budget hotel; $3-$5 a night at a high-end hotel.
• 15-20 percent of the cost of the meal for room service.
• A dollar or two for a cabbie if he helps with your luggage.

For the holidays, plan for an extra tip for babysitters, cleaning persons, doormen, gardeners, trash collectors and others.

Realsimple.com advises no tips for bouncers, chiropractors, cobblers, grocery baggers, house sitters, personal trainers, plumbers, tailors, UPS/USPS/FedEx delivery drivers and others.

I would take exception to some of these suggestions. I look at it this way – if someone is helping me, and I am better off than them, why not give them a few dollars? I am not rich but I can remember when I was really poor and working hard. A little something was always greatly appreciated.

And, please. If you go out for lunch this Sunday, leave a standard tip of 15-20 percent.