The following is a previously published column.
I discovered The Onion back when it only had a printed edition. The satirical website can be really funny but it frequently strays from good taste (profanity and sexual innuendo), so I don’t read it anymore and I can’t recommend it to my friends or readers.
There is an alternative. It’s www.babylonbee.com. The Babylon Bee bills itself “your trusted source for Christian News Satire.”
And it is very clean and very funny.
Here are some of the recent headlines for their satirical reports.
- Dems promise to do a better job of hiding their support for infanticide in the future.
- Beto unveils plan to replace all cars with skateboards by 2030.
- New York Times apologizes for offending “Passover Worshipers”
- Ruins of First-Century Chick-Fil-A discovered near Jerusalem.
- It’s about time: The Book of Revelation now includes a spoiler warning.
- Nation touched by Joe Biden.
- Horrified pastor discovers he forgot to let the drummer out of the cage on the previous Sunday.
- Elizabeth Warren promises to repay debts of everyone who bought a PlayStation 4 on their Best Buy credit card.
- Bernie Sanders vows to round up remaining ISIS members and allow them to vote.
- Al Gore commemorates Earth Day by using his private jet to write “Save the Planet” in the sky.
- Obnoxious Snoops writer keeps fact-checking people’s jokes at parties.
- Worship leader entirely unaware church has a bassist.
- New back brace lifts your arms during worship for you.
- Teen driver glances up at road, nearly misses something cool on Instagram.
- Archeologists discover Apostle Paul’s concealed carry permit.
- Massive recall on Veggie Tales merchandise after E. coli outbreak.
- CNN: God allowed the Mueller Report to test our unshakable faith in collusion.
- Justice Department sends Trump Amazon Alexa device as a peace offering for spying.
- Weird: Everyone who attended Bernie Sanders’ town hall has reported their wallet missing.
- Pastors weigh in: Does pineapple belong on pizza?
- Bernie Sanders releases 100 years of tax returns.
- Elizabeth Warren offers furs and corn in exchange for votes.
- White House implements new policy of dropping all illegal immigrants off at Nancy Pelosi’s house.
- World finally bands together to arrest Julian Assange after he threatens to leak Avengers Endgame spoilers.
- Ocasio-Cortez appears on The Price Is Right; guesses that every thing is free.
- Pastor schedules special prayer meeting for exact time of Game of Thrones premier to weed out the heathens.
- (James) Comey: ‘We did not spy – we just observed and reported secretly without the subjects’ knowledge or consent.’
- Hillary Clinton sends 30,000 emails on mission to Black Hole.
- Scientists recommend reducing the number of Democratic presidential candidates to help fight climate change.
- Progressives officially redefine ‘hate speech’ as ‘speech we do not like.’
- Study: 78 percent of worship bands could use more cowbell.
- CNN publishes real news story for April Fools Day.
- Ocasio-Cortez suddenly shifts to speaking like Jar Jar Binks while addressing crowd of Gungans.
- Joe Biden is appointed the head of TSA.
- Venezuela praised for achieving world’s first zero-hour work week.
- King Solomon accused of inappropriate behavior by 1,000 of his wives.
- Father suffering from bizarre medical condition where he can never hear screaming kids in his own home.
- Joe Biden sneaks up behind nation’s women to whisper in their ears how he’s going to be more respectful.
- Disney ordered to pay reparations to longtime Star Wars fans.
- Accordion player denied spot on worship band again.
- Monkey with typewriter produces reasonable alternative to Green New Deal.
- Man arrested while trying to smuggle Chick-Fil-A sandwich into the San Antonio Airport.
- Garnier Fructis introduces the Biden Collection.
- Alexandria – Ocasio-Cortez’s economics degree recalled.
- Unplanned Twitter account slapped with Truthful Content warning.
- CNN blames ratings’ slump on lack of news they want to report.
- Jussie Smollett receives prestigious NAACP Award for his work creating jobs for Nigerian/Americans.
- Democrats introduce resolution to impeach Trump with reasons to be filled in later.
- Moved by sight of homeless man asking for food, local Christian prays light would turn green.
- MSNBC hires Chicken Little as commentator for the remainer of Trump’s term.
- Entertainment venue still pretending to be a church.
- Investigation launched into possible collusion between Edmund and the White Witch.
- Stopped clock named CNN’s most accurate reporter.
- Republicans accused of colluding with reality to defeat Green New Deal.
- Universe begins collapsing on itself after revelation Trump was the one telling the truth.
- Democrats briefly consider investigating ways to beat Trump in an election.
- Mueller investigation concludes Hillary Clinton was actually just a terrible candidate.
- Sick and tired of all this prosperity, nation to try socialism for a while.
- Amid Ilhan Omar controversy, America quietly lists Minnesota on EBay.
- Worship leader abruptly stops music to call on girl with hands raised.
- Local Chick-Fil-A declares itself a ‘sanctuary space’ for undocumented cows.
- Ocasio-Cortez slams Fox News hosts for not referring to her as ‘Dear Leader.”
- Resurrected Che Guevara announces 2020 run, Democrats quickly criticize as “too moderate.”
- Library under fire for hosting controversial ‘Straight Male Story Hour.’
- Pelosi: ‘Any child who somehow escaped abortion and infanticide has earned the right to vote.’
- New report indicates audiences were bribed to laugh at Full House.
- Mom rushes over to treat son’s broken leg with peppermint oil..
- Section on world history added to Harry Potter Series so millennials will actually know something useful.
- Elizabeth Warren leaves brutal 1-star rating for Ancestry.com.
- Exasperated Olive Garden waitress asks Bernie Sanders if he’s just gonna sit there eating free breadsticks all night.
- Southern Baptist pastor resigns in disgrace after admitting he does not like casseroles.
- Calvinist Church hosts bingo night, just selects winners ahead of time.
- Nation’s Republicans weep bitterly upon learning Hillary Clinton not running in 2020.
- Socialists criticized as ‘math deniers.’
- Worship leader helpfully shouts out next line in case you can’t read it on the giant projector screen behind him.
- Grizzly bear shatters all pro wrestling records after identifying as human.
- ‘My healthcare is none of your business,’ says woman who demands that you pay for her healthcare.
You get the idea. Obviously, Democrats, liberals, progressives and sometimes nominal Christians are targets. The Babylon Bee is not mean but it is very funny and the funniest headlines have a ring of truth.
Take an afternoon and read the headlines and the stories on www.BabylonBee.com. It will tickle your funny bone.