I have a pretty good assortment of coffee cups from a wide variety of places. If I am a coffee cup collector, it’s more by accident than on purpose.

The oldest cup I own is really a beer stein from Europe. When I was in college, my friends Marsha and Terri went to Europe during the summer break and brought me back a decorative stein that I keep on my dresser.

Earlier this year, my son Brian and his wife Shelby brought me back another beer stein from their trip to Europe.

Brian also gave me an “Army Dad” mug when he was in the Oklahoma Army National Guard after he returned from being deployed in Kuwait for nine long months. That one is special.

Another aging coffee cup I own is from Breckenridge, Colorado. I purchased this on our honeymoon in July of 1982. It is memorable.

My son Josiah got me a coffee mug with a photo of a rainbow trout on the side. He spent a summer at a Christian fishing camp in Missouri along the White River. We visited there one weekend and it was a lot of fun.

Josiah also gave a cup I use every week that states, “Real men drink pumpkin spice.” Ha. I have another favorite cup that I use a lot that is from College of the Ozarks, the Christian school where Josiah got his degree. It says “Bobcats” on the side.

My daughter Sarah visited Yellowstone National Park and bought me a very classy mug with the engraving that the park was founded in 1872 (100 years before I graduated from Nathan Hale High School in Tulsa).

I have a Christmas mug, apparently given to me by one of the kids, that reads, “A father’s love is the nicest gift.” (I wish I would have known they felt that way before I spent all that money on Christmas gifts – ha).

Another oldie is a cup from the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia. I cannot remember where I got that because I didn’t go to those Olympic games. Maybe I got it from one of my brothers-in-law (George and John) who live in Atlanta.

When I turned 40 in 1993, I got a mug that read, “Over the Hill.” If I was over the hill back then, I am in real trouble now.

I have two really neat mugs from New Life Ranch, a Christian summer camp I attended in the 1960s. All three kids were campers there and I got one mug as a gift for our donation to the scholarship fund. The other one I bought. It is bright red and has the original New Life Ranch logo on the side.

I have a mug from the Arkansas Gazette, a daily newspaper that was founded in 1819. It ceased publication in 1991 and was merged with the Arkansas Democrat to become the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. (The Tulsa Tribune ceased publication in 1993 and merged with the Tulsa World but it didn’t become the Tulsa World-Gazette. Go figure.)

The Oklahoma Press Association gave me a mug that reads, “All matter in the paper.” I suppose it is a reference to “black lives matter.” We are a member of the OPA, which is the state association of legal newspapers.

Former Oklahoma Corporation Commissioner Dana Murphy gave me an official mug a few years ago

I have two cups from RSU-TV (Rogers State University) and I could have had a few more. For several months, I was a guest panelist on a show called Perspective, hosted by former Tulsa TV personality Sam Jones. Every time I went to a taping, they told me I could take away my mug but I didn’t because I didn’t want to be too greedy. Sam is a liberal and I am a conservative but we actually got along well.

I have a few mugs from Branson, Missouri, and a few from Florida. Those have been on the top of our list of favorite vacation destinations. Silver Dollar City gave me a commemorative mug on the park’s 50th anniversary in 2010. (Hey, maybe I will get another one next year for the 60th anniversary.)

I have a mug from Memorial Bible Church that they used to give out with their newcomer packets. It’s a collector’s item because Memorial Bible Church no longer exists. It because Mingo Valley Bible Fellowship and now it is Jenks Bible Church.

So, which one is my favorite mug?

If it’s based on usage, it’s the “pumpkin spice mug.” I like it because it is oversized so I don’t have to make as many trips to the coffee pot.

But if I had to choose one, it would be the Army Dad mug because it has so much meaning to it. I am very proud of all my kids but I appreciate Brian continuing our family’s history of service to the country, especially since I was never in the military.

More jokes…

– I took my 8-year-old daughter to work on “Take Your Kid to Work Day.” After walking around the office, she got cranky and started to cry.

“What is the matter?” I asked as my co-workers gathered around us.

“Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?” she asked.

– A friend said, “My girlfriend keeps asking me if I’m an Alice in Wonderland character and it’s very annoying.”

“Are you mad at her?” I asked.

“Gee whiz, don’t you start, too,” he said.

– How can you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One you will “see later” and the other you will see “in a while.”

– Where did Aniken Skywalker get his robotic hand?

In a second-hand shop.

– A Japanese gardener asked me what I knew about bonsai trees.

I answered, “Very little.”

– What happened to the overconfident lion tamer?

He was consumed by his own pride.

– Why should you never ask Rick Ashley for his complete collection of Pixar movies?

Because he’s never going to give you Up.

– I kept saying, “No comment,” all the way through the police interview.

I didn’t get the job.

– I once thanked a French man to death.

I guess you could call it a “merci” killing.

– I feel like a battery.

Because I am not included in anything.

– Apparently, one in three people cheat.

I wonder if it’s my wife or girlfriend.

– While my wife was in labor, I read her jokes to distract her from pain but she wasn’t amused.

I guess it was the delivery.

– My doctor told me that my voice box is damaged and I may never speak again.

I can’t tell you how upset I am.