When I was at The University of Oklahoma, I took Theory of Basketball, Theory of Baseball, Theory of Wrestling, Theory of Track and Field and, of course, Theory of Football.

I was a journalism major and I thought I wanted to be a sportswriter, so I took these courses. All but Theory of Wrestling were legitimate. (That course was filled with athletes and the class rarely met. I got an “A” just for showing up.)

I also took “Chemistry for Non-Majors” – class also filled with scholarship athletes. During the first session, the professor wrote “H2O” on the chalkboard.

“Does anyone know what this is?” he asked.

I did and I got another “A.”

Not all classes at OU back then were like that and the classes for athletes have become much more strict about academics.

But some colleges and universities are offering some pretty weird courses. Some on this list may no longer be current.

Michigan State University had “Surviving the Coming Zombie Apocalypse: Disasters, Catastrophes and Human Behavior.”

I’m not sure I would classify zombies as having “human behavior.” Actually, this class might have some merit if you take zombie out of the name.

Centre College has “The Art of Walking: The German Novella.” I wonder if they have a graduate course, “The Art of Running?”

Frostburg State University had a course, “The Science of Harry Potter.” I would categorize this class as a giant waste of time but I could see how the class would fill up as an elective.

Under the category of “black women studies,” The University of Texas at San Antonio had a course titled, “Lemonade: Black Women, Beyonce and Popular Culture.” This course obviously would help you get a job after graduation if as a rock band groupie or if you wanted to open your own lemonade stand.

Ohio State University had a class called “How to Stage a Revolution.” I would guess that professor and the students in this class are revolting.

Duke University offered a class called, “The Selfie.” It’s an artsy class that spends a lot of time on reflection.

Under black studies, Washington University, a very expensive school in St. Louis, Missouri, offered “The Politics of Kanye West: Black Genius and Sonic Aesthetics.” This is a class where you must keep up with the homework.

“Wasting Time on the Internet” is a class that was offered by The University of Pennsylvania. (We didn’t have the Internet when I was in college – we had to waste time in pool halls, playing racquetball or playing pinball games.)

Cornell University has “Tree Climbing.” You have to be tall enough to reach the lowest limb to enroll, I suppose. Cornell also has “Sex, Rugs, Salt and Coal.” Who knows how those topics fit together?

“Cyberfeminism” is a course at Cornell. So, why not “Cybermachismo,” too?

“Personal Robots” is taught at MIT. I’m sure I don’t want a robot to get too personal.

Princeton has “Getting Dressed.” This is a freshman seminar and actually is useful for students who have never put on clothing.

McDaniel College in Maryland is so hard up for students that they have “South Park and Contemporary Social Issues.” It should read, “South Park and Other Contemptible TV Programs.”

Montclair State University is filling a cultural void with a class called, “How to Watch Television.” Again, the graduate course equivalent should be “How to Go to a Theater and Watch a Movie.”

Santa Clara University offers “The Physics of Star Trek.” A follow-up course is “The Physics of Star Wars.”

Along that same vein, The University of Texas offers “Invented Languages: Klingon and Beyond.” I would love to see a spelling test from that course.

Another “black women’s study” is “Makin’ Whoopi: Goldberg’s Canon” at Bates College in Lewiston, Maine.

On the other side, Mount Holyoke College has a course called, “Whiteness: The Other Side of Racism.” This class teaches the evil of being white and you can get extra credit for sunbathing.

“The History of Surfing” is taught at (where else?) The University of California at Santa Barbara. This actually covers issues facing coastal community and has nothing to do with the Internet.

Speaking of California, Duke University offers “California Here We Come: The O.C. and Self-award culture of 21st Century America.” This course looks at “California exceptionalism” – a taboo topic if you are a Democrat running for president.

Alfred University has, “Maple Syrup: The Real Thing.” Apparently, counterfeit maple syrup has become a problem lately. Sweet.

The University of California at Berkeley teaches, “The Simpsons and Philosophy.” For the finals, students call a local bartender and ask for “Miss Tinkle, first name Ivana.”

After these, Theory of Wrestling is looking better all the time.

Cheesy pickup lines..

• Are you French because Eiffel for you.
• Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
• You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
• I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
• Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
• Are you lost ma’am? Because Heaven is a long way from here.
• If you were a library book, I would check you out.
• If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
• If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
• Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
• Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see!
• Life without you is like a broken pencil… pointless.
• Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you.
• I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice
• Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.
• I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
• Did it hurt? When you fell out of Heaven?
• If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.
• Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.
• Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for.
• Your hand looks heavy. Here, let me hold it for you.
• Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte.
• Do you like science because I’ve got my ion you.
• Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
• I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I think you’re the gratest.