The following is a previously published column.
I’ve lost about 40 pounds since March 1.
Hurray!
This is the most weight I have ever lost in one season. When I was 21, I lost 35 pounds at my summer job, which was delivering furniture for Manhattan Furniture. I wasn’t trying to lose weight that summer but it happened.
About 10 years or so ago, I lost 30 pounds in a few months. I slowly put back on 15 of those pounds, which is where I was at on March 1.
People ask me how I lost the weight.
It’s a multi-step process.
First, I prayed about it. I am convinced that there is no endeavor in life for me will be successful unless I am following Biblical principles. And if anyone thinks I have lost weight because of my willpower or some magic diet, they don’t understand how God works.
Step two, I spoke with my wife Susan. For a variety of health reasons, we were both convinced we should lose some weight. This an important step. Susan is a great cook and she carefully plans our meals and they are delicious. I tend to eat what is before me, so this wouldn’t work without full cooperation from both of us.
(She has lost weight, too).
Thirdly, we didn’t buy a diet book. We didn’t start buying our food from a diet guru. No Jenny Craig and no Weight Watchers.
We designed our own diets. She did hers and I did mine.
Mine is simple. Eat less and eat better.
My first step was to start taking my coffee black in the morning. I love to put honey and flavored creamer in my coffee but it just packs on the pounds. For breakfast, I now have two sausage patties and a cup of coffee.
I have been a serious water drinker for more than 20 years. During my diet, I have avoided any drinks with calories in them. When we go to a restaurant, I order water with my meal. So, I load up with water.
For lunch, I usually have a hamburger patty with onions or a homemade chef salad. I love salad. I use lettuce, celery, mushrooms, black olives, spinach, bacon bits, cheese and tomatoes most of the time.
A typical dinner for us is baked chicken with salad, green beans, rice and fruit. I usually skip the rice. Sometimes, we bake potatoes and I usually decline those, too. I will occasionally eat a bit of pasta.
I love vegetables, especially broccoli. We eat a lot more vegetables these days.
I love fruit. I eat oranges, grapes, cherries (in season), apples, pears and bananas. They are very satisfying. In fact, after staying away from sugar for a while, fruit really starts to taste like candy to me. We bought some black grapes this summer that are out of this world delicious.
I rarely eat bread. We go to Jason’s Deli and I order a half-sandwich and a one-trip salad. That fills me up.
I have regular breakfast meeting every Friday morning and I order two scrambled eggs, a cup of fruit and black coffee. This satisfies me and if I get hungry during the mid-morning, I will eat some grapes.
I don’t want to leave the impression that I adhere to this plan religiously. Everyone backslides. I have eaten some birthday cake and twice I had a scoop of ice cream (once with cobbler). I have eaten a few brownies and a couple of cookies. Life is too short to tell yourself you can never have ice cream, cake or cookies.
I have cut back on snacking. When I get hungry, I eat a piece of cheese or take a bite of peanut butter or cottage cheese.
Another secret is that a successful diet begins with grocery shopping. We make a conscious effort to buy fresh produce and not as much processed food.
Eating out is a challenge. The good news is that many restaurants will tell the calorie and carbohydrate count on their dishes. We went to Red Lobster on our anniversary in July and I had shrimp with a salad and steamed broccoli. The shrimp was coconut shrimp and I did eat one of the biscuits but I made up for it by taking it easy the rest of the day.
It’s important to stay active and exercise. I don’t know that you can really lose weight with just exercise and not adjusting your caloric intake.
I feel so much better. I am having to buy more clothes in smaller sizes. My health profile has improved.
I look around and I see a lot of people who are too heavy. I don’t want to leave the impression that it is easy to lose weight (I still need to lose more) or that someone is lazy if they are overweight. Our culture and food industry pushes us toward sugar-laced foods that taste good and pack on the pounds. Fast-food is delicious but not that healthy in the long run.
I will keep losing some more weight and my goal is to keep it off. I’m actually pretty good with weight maintenance.
Thanks to the Good Lord and my healthy wife, I can achieve that goal.
More jokes…
– I’ve been standing under citrus trees all day. I feel sub-lime.
– A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that was the last thing I needed.
– Humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
– Son to Dad: “Dad, could you do my math homework for me?”
Dad to Son: “No, son, it wouldn’t be right.”
Son: “Well, at least you could try.”
– What is the most ironic name for a vegetarian? Hunter.
– How do you keep burglars from stealing your bagels? Install new lox.
– What is the difference between ignorance and indifference? I don’t know and I don’t care.
– People are shocked when they find out I’m a really bad electrician.
– I was driving when a man waved me down. I stopped the car and he asked me if I could give him a few directions. “Sure,” I said. “Up, down, east and west.” Then I drove off.
– My brother works for my band. He helps me fix and replace parts of my drums. He re-cymbals me, too.
– What is it called when your parachute doesn’t open? Jumping to a conclusion.
– What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
– Scientists have grown human vocal cords in a petri dish. The results speak for themselves.
– In what state does the Arkansas River flow? Liquid.
– I turned in my project on gingivitis just in time. I made it by the skin of my teeth.
– I have a fear of elevators. But I’m taking steps to avoid it.
– Wow. You skipped straight from shock and denial to acceptance and hope? Good grief.
– A duck is standing next to a busy road, waiting for a break in traffic. A chicken walks up to him and says, “Don’t do it, man. You’ll never hear the end of it.”