On July 10, 2022, my wife Susan and I will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary.

I am very proud of that.

My late father-in-law the Rev. George Campbell and my mother-in-law Martha Campbell were married for more than 60 years.

I grew up in a home with a Dad but no Mom because she passed away when I was 5. I was always jealous of my friends who had both their Mom and Dad. That’s what I wanted.

When I was growing up, most couples didn’t get divorced. I had some classmates in school whose parents had divorced and it was so puzzling to me. What would be so bad that you would break up a family and mostly abandon your kids?

In the Book of Malachi in the Old Testament, God speaks and say, “I hate divorce.” That’s pretty strong. The problem in the Book of Malachi is that middle-aged men were divorcing their aging wives to marry younger, trophy wives.

That’s not good.

I was 28 when we got married. I had dated various women for more than 10 years but never really connected with them to the point that I wanted to propose. I was always around people but I was lonely deep down inside.

Then I met Susan.

I don’t know if it was love at first sight but we certainly enjoyed each other from the start. We dated for several months and then I flew to North Carolina specifically to ask her father for her hand in marriage. He agreed.

The next week in Tulsa, I took her out to a nice dinner and then we drove to our church. I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me.

She said yes.

That was one of the happiest days of my life. I was infatuated with her. She was beautiful (she still is). She loved to laugh.

She was a devout Christian (one of her ambitions was to become a foreign missionary). She is very smart and did well in college (she has a degree in biology).

We struggled a bit that first year, as couples do. But there was never a hint of separating.

Part of our premarital counseling was that your spouse will never be able to fully satisfy your needs or wants. The trick is to discover her needs and wishes and do you best to help her fulfill them.

If your goal is to make her happy and her goal is to make you happy, there’s a better chance that you will be happy together.

I have learned so much from my wife. I grew up in a household with six men and there wasn’t a lot of balance in my upbringing. As a young adult, I wanted to be romantic but I was pretty clumsy.

I learned a few tricks. First, most women like flowers on Valentine’s Day, their birthday and on their anniversary.

I learned that you can’t joke around with your wife like you would with your guy pals. You don’t have to be serious but try to be sensitive.

Secondly, you need to listen. I run hot and cold on listening but I really try to understand what she wants to communicate.

I try to anticipate her moods. Life is so full of ups and downs. It’s easy to just let things slide but all of us want the people who care for us to sometime lend an understanding ear.

It’s so important to have a steady partner in life. Susan cooks, cleans, does the laundry and takes care of me when I am sick. She, more than I, raised three wonderful children. And you should see how good she is with our two grandchildren.

If you want more details on what she does, read Proverbs 31.

There would not be a Tulsa Beacon without Susan, She is the office manager, circulation manager, classified ad director, bookkeeper, tax preparer and she answers the phone.

It would take at least three employees to do the job she does (and does very well).

So, on Valentine’s Day I will take my wife of 39-plus years out to a nice restaurant. I will buy her red roses and a nice, sentimental card (you don’t give joke cards to your wife on Valentine’s Day).

We will sit in the restaurant and talk about our kids, our grandkids, our work and maybe our future.

I will tell her that I love her and she will smile and say, “I know.”

God knew what he was doing when he brought us together in 1982. I would be lost without her and I need to tell her that more often. Shes a peach.

Happy Valentines Day!